Archive for May, 2011

Men are not wild beasts

Posted in doin' it wrong, rape, rape culture on May 27th, 2011 by steph – 3 Comments

All this talk of ladies in short skirts driving men wild, and what do women think a man thinks about when he sees a woman’s cleavage? has made me realize something: collectively, we view men as uncontrollable, untamed animals, incapable of higher-level thought processes and incapable of stopping themselves from making sexual advances when they see a miniskirt. Men are Pavlov’s dogs: miniskirts = sex, and they’ll get some by whatever means necessary. Because sure, woman aren’t to blame if they were wearing a short skirt or drinking or out late at night, but what did they really expect to happen wearing an outfit designed to turn men on? Obviously it will turn a man on, 100% guaranteed, and he will now have to have sex with her or he will die or his dick will explode or something. Target acquired, mission set, autopilot on, failure is not an option. What can we expect ladies- we don’t want to be responsible for a man’s wang exploding, do we?

 

So to sum up: not the fault of the ladies, but also actually their fault for doing something or wearing something that is 100% guaranteed to program a man on a mission to have intercourse or die trying. Men: cannot control their animal instincts in the face of a halterneck top. Men: must rape every woman who has had more than zero drinks. Men: unstoppable machines programmed for sex, and a “vulnerable” woman out on the streets at 3am is their trigger. It’s funny how all these dudez who perpetuate this myth of the magical sex-inducing miniskirt  don’t actually realize that this view – the one they so strongly believe and espouse – is actually a more man-hating worldview than any man-hating they have ever accused any feminist of. These men have such a rock-bottom expectation of men; they think men are so weak and uncontrollable that they can’t not have sex with someone in a short skirt: the short skirt is a sign of being up for it, and even though she says no the power of the miniskirt is still so strong that a man couldn’t control himself and make a choice. His animal urges override any rational thinking he is normally capable of and he must have sex NOW. Basically people who hold this view seem to have such rock-bottom expectations of men that it takes my breath away. Guess what, jerks? I actually believe most men to be good and rational, and have too much respect for them to buy into the myth that their behaviour is completely under the control of the up-for-it miniskirt. You can continue to collectively insult every man on the planet, and I will continue to hold men to the same standards I do everyone else. So who’s the man-hater here?

 

And if you still want to believe that women “aren’t to blame, BUT…” and that men are driven solely by their sex-lust and skirt-lust, then here are some tips you should be passing on to all your male friends to help them stop being led around by their dicks and sometimes raping someone along the way. I think we should pay special attention to tip 7- if guys can’t stop themselves at the sight of a short skirt, maybe we need to have a rape-prevention buddy with them at all times.

 

Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work!

1.   Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.

2.   When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!

3.   If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!

4.   NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.

5.   If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!

6.   Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.

7.   USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.

8.   Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.

9.   Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!

10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone “on accident” you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.

(tips via No, Not You)

 

 

And some more tips here, if you are really having trouble not raping somebody.

 

Blame the rapists

Posted in rape, rape culture, Uncategorized on May 26th, 2011 by steph – 4 Comments

Now that Slutwalk Aotearoa is drawing near, there has been a fair bit of discussion going on about it and the issues it aims to address, including coverage on Backbenches where Paul Quinn failed big-time totally misheard the question, you guys. And apparently people still haven’t gotten the memo that rapists are actually to blame for rape, not drunk women, or being out at 1am or 3am or 6am, and or short skirts. Funny that, because it seems like it would be fairly easy to comprehend. I feel like reiterating the point: rapists are to blame for rape, nothing else.

Not a rapist, as far as I know.

Mini-skirts don’t rape people; rapists do. So please stop talking about them in the context of rape.

 

Also not a rapist.

Alcohol doesn’t rape people; rapists do.

 

This deserted alleyway has never raped anyone.

Dark streets at night don’t rape people; rapists do.

If that’s still to difficult to accept, think about this: take all those things – a short skirt, alcohol, a poorly-lit street late at night- and add them together. Drunken woman+miniskirt+alleyway =/= rape. You might think that sounds like the perfect equation for rape, but you’d be wrong because there’s one crucial element missing: A RAPIST. Without a rapist in the equation – this equation or any equation- there wont be a rape. It seems like such a simple idea to grasp, and yet we’re still swimming against the tide of a victim-blaming rape culture, desperately trying to get people to understand.

 

*if at least one person isn’t thinking about Goldie Lookin Chain after this post, I have failed miserably

Links

Posted in links on May 26th, 2011 by steph – 1 Comment

Ben Stein wrote a repugnant defense of Dominique Strauss-Kahn, and reminded us all that of course a wealthy, educated professional couldn’t be a rapist because rapists are deranged wild-haired strangers who lurk in the bushes with a knife

In life, events tend to follow patterns. People who commit crimes tend to be criminals, for example. Can anyone tell me any economists who have been convicted of violent sex crimes? Can anyone tell me of any heads of nonprofit international economic entities who have ever been charged and convicted of violent sexual crimes? Is it likely that just by chance this hotel maid found the only one in this category? Maybe Mr. Strauss-Kahn is guilty but if so, he is one of a kind, and criminals are not usually one of a kind.

Of course an economist couldn’t be a rapist, silly. Oh, wait. Apparently those things are not mutually exclusive. Here are more examples of why the “well-off educated person is clearly not a criminal” trope is fail- although, as is pointed out, these weren’t all violent sexual crimes, so obviously Ben Stein has won this point.

 

An old piece from Shakesville, but one that was a bit before my time as a consumer of feminist writing on the internet: The Patriarchy is Bad for Everyone. It gets a bit tiring having to explain to people why the sexist bullshit about how men are wild, rapacious animals who lack control or emotions is not ok and does a huge disservice to men, and it’s always nice to read things that discuss this.

 

This piece from Hugo Schwyzer, “Words are not fists: on male strategies to defuse feminist anger”, is also a bit old but I have just come across it now, and I like dicussions about the legitimacy of anger and the way in which people try to defuse and delegitimize it.

 

An excellent piece by ScubaNurse (here on her own blog, and here at The Hand Mirror) on Slutwalk and the absurdly stupid comments by Paul Quinn on Backbenches about drunken women being on the streets early in the morning when he is righteously heading off to the gym. Slutsssssssssssssssssssssssss. Booze. Putting themselves at risk. The usual. Sigh.

Whore pills

Posted in Uncategorized on May 19th, 2011 by steph – 2 Comments

To meet a need (the need to store my pills in something other than the cardboard box they come in) and to pay tribute to this excellent pie chart explaining why feminists go to Planned Parenthood, I whipped this up the other day

 

 

Feminism and crafts, two of my favourite things.

Links

Posted in Uncategorized on May 18th, 2011 by steph – 5 Comments

I’ve fallen off the blogging wagon a bit as of late, but I have been reading a lot and checking out the links provided by other feminist bloggers. So, in ths spirit of things:

 

There’s been a hoopla over omg secret underground school abortion rings!11!!!! and other bloggers have issued some fierce takedowns. I was reminded of what a weaselly, lying, scumbag Bob McCoskrie is when I read this by ALRANZ

And just one more thing. In its April press release and again in December, Family First National Director Bob McCoskrie argued that bringing in a parental notification law was “especially relevant when almost 80 teenagers a week have an abortion in NZ.”  It is disingenuous to cite this figure in a discussion of mandatory notification for under 16s because it includes all 11 to 19-year-olds, many of whom a parental notification law would not affect.

According to Statistics NZ, in the 11-14 age group, there were 79 abortions in 2009, (1.5 a week) and in the 15-19 year group, 3,871 (around 74 a week). The figures do not offer a 15-years and under breakdown, but it’s clear that would fall far far short of 80 abortions a week.

(Bob is again quoted here, on May 17th 2011, as making the 80 abortions a week claim).

 

An interview with SlutWalk Aotearoa organiser Maria-Jane Scannell is here.

I think it’s a really important thing to note – as this seems to be getting glossed over quite a lot – is that SlutWalk is ‘come as you are’. If you want to throw on your short shorts, your fishnets, your corsets, or any other clothing that could be seen as stereotypically ‘slutty’, you are more than welcome to (I know I’ll be rocking my corset dress!). But by the same measure, the idea of the march is that NO ONE is to blame for sexual assault. Not to mention, these marches are being held in the middle of June!! So wearing jeans, merino or a jacket makes you no more or less a SlutWalker than miniskirts do.

I’d also probably point out that there has been a lot of misunderstanding around the SlutWalk and what it is all about. We are not encouraging all women to be sluts, and we do not believe that you have to reclaim the word slut in order to empower yourself. The SlutWalk is for everyone – whether you can, or want to, identify as a ‘slut’ or not – who believes that there is nothing we can do that will cause someone to rape us.

 

 

A little bit old, but an interesting read about sexual assault and rape of men in the military services in the US.  (Discusses details about victimization, assault, rape, and rape culture).

 

Lady Journos!, where I have been finding lots of articles on all kinds of topics.

 

And I finally managed to keep a film committment and saw Operation 8, which was showing as part of the World Cinema Showcase. Sadly, I think the screening of it in the showcase is now over, but I would recommend it to anyone when it (hopefully) later becomes available in a more general release. UPDATED: Here is the general release screening info for Operation 8 (down the righthand side): it’s on now in some cinemas and coming soon to more.

“Golf Pros and Tennis Hoes”

Posted in fail on May 16th, 2011 by steph – 4 Comments

On my way to work every morning I pass the The Captain Cook Tavern- famous/infamous in Dunedin, and general champion of poor taste. My opinion of The Cook is not a positive one, and I generally have no expectations of it. And yet somehow I still managed to be disappointed  by this promo poster in their window

 

 

What can I say, really? I like the way the “o” in “hoes” is a sexy lady mouth with a golf ball in it.

 

I guess “golf pros and tennis hoes” is much catchier than “dress up in an argyle vest or a tennis skirt for some cheaps KGBs. So who can fault them, right? Just tryin’ to be catchy.

My first impression was utter disgust over the “tennis hoes” part, and yet now the more I think about it I also can’t stop thinking “please, PLEASE don’t let anyone show up in blackface. PLEASE”. So much fail, really.